That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we consider the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.